Don't let go
by mkjc8
Summary: Mikan and Natsume found love with each other, but they can not be together. Whole summary inside  All Human Please R&R  very OOC on temporary HIATUS
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own any of the characters found in this story. I only own the plot. Thanks for reading and R&R please!**

Summary

Mikan's family has a secret. On the outside they are a family to envy, but when the curtains close it is true horror. Natsume has a problem with trusting people around him because of a dark past. They found love with each other, but would their inner demons tear them apart.

Prologue

The darkness was clouding my vision. The dull pain in my heart kept growing into the unimaginable.

Was this how it was going to end? My breath quicken when he came near. A sob erupted from within me.

"Goodbye"

Mikan's POV

"BOO"

I yelped while falling on my butt at the process. It was only my best friend Hotaru; she was always stoic. Apparently she and her brother made a bet on how much time she can scare me. Yep that is such an awesome best friend (sarcasm intended). It was our first day for senior year, Hotaru was nagging about boyfriends.

"It's going to be senior year soon, you NEED a boyfriend"

She always felt that I was lonely since she got a boyfriend. I could still hear her till this day. I was not going to get any boyfriend until I move out. I always had this phobia of people leaving in my life. Someone seeing what I live with every day is terrifying; I know they would leave. The bell ranged signaling 1st period.

Natsume's POV

Everyone is such a fake; I cannot trust anyone in this world. All they want is money, fame, and looks, and somehow I'm all three. Girls around me would wear cloth that was barely there, and boys would lie and turn their backs on me as soon as they can. All they want is my fortune. It's impossible to find anyone in the world that would not judge me, but actually care what I think. I'm just dreaming if that actually happened.

"Hurry up Natsume!" one of the suck up said

"Shut the fuck up"

**Sorry there is so little; I just wanted to quickly make a small start before I get any deeper into the story. I'll probably make a new chapter by the end of the week. Please R&R!**


	2. Chapter 2

**I do not own any of any of the characters found in this story. I only own the plot. In this chapter you would see some of Mikan's and Natsume's struggle. Please R&R**

Summary

Mikan's family has a secret. On the outside they are a family to envy, but when the curtains close it is true horror. Natsume has a problem with trusting people around him because of a dark past. They found love with each other, but would their inner demons tear them apart.

Mikan's POV

Homes, a place where people can rest and be relax, and not worry about everyday stress. That was not my definition of home. My home is a hell on earth. Every day I would walk home just to delay my entrance. The anxiety and terror never leaves me when I am there. I am surprised I can even sleep at night. I had even contemplated suicide or running away, but each trial was a failure and a huge punishment would come after. It was like **he** makes it like that so I can keep suffering. It wasn't always like this before, but it all collapsed one dark and cold day. Perhaps this is my punishment from god. When I reach home my terror begins….

"Where the hell have you been" **he** spat

You could see the veins popping out from underneath his skin, his skin tinged with fire red. He was clearly drunk maybe even high. I could see everyone else was gone again. No one bothered to come back every day. I would do the same but I had no one. I could barely hold on to my insanity let alone raise myself. There would be problems like jobs, bills, and school to figure out. I just need to prolong one more year and I'm out.

"I asked you where the hell you've been"

His loud voice echoed across the room bringing me out of my thoughts. It was hard to believe he could get any more red. The vein was even more prominent; it looked like it was going to pop out.

"I w-was only com-coming h-home" I whispered softly

The shaking would not stop. I coiled up ready for the attack. It never came. I open my eyes to see him passed out on the ground. I let out a shaky breath. I was lucky today, very lucky. I had to be more cautious; I made a mental note to myself. I cooked dinner as fast as I can and ran up to my room. I felt sick at what could have happened. Quickly, with my shaking hands I locked the door. I went to my bed and fell asleep.

I woke up with a startle. **He **was awake and everybody was home. That was rare. I could hear shouts and stuff breaking, but out all of all the other noise, I heard the sobs and the torture tears from my mother. The panic attack came back. I waited and waited until it was completely silent in the house. I crawled out the street and went to town. It was my only haven besides school. Every night I would come out here if I could. Sometimes I am unable to walk out at all. I walked along the streets and four drunken men came in front of me. Their intent was clear as daylight. Fear spiked within me. As fast as I could, running was my only option. It was too late; one of them grabbed me and threw me on the ground. I shut my eyes tightly hoping it's a dream. Then screams hit my eardrums. I open one eye to see a raven hair boy had beaten them up. He looked at me and it hit me like tons of bricks. His red crimson eyes held nothing but pure sorrow. With disbelief I looked up and he was gone. The trip home was silent. The full moon shined my way. Maybe there is hope I thought to myself.

Natsume's POV

My life is pure and utter torture. I can trust no one in the world. When I return home, people gift me with presents and fake smile. Everywhere I go fake, fake, and fake. There is not one genuine person. Even Luna my supposed fiancée from my arranged, soon to be marriage is a total fake. There is not one single detail that says she has a bit of genuity in her. I just wish I had born into a normal family. My real parents died when I was little. They were well known people. A friend of theirs decided to adopt, but I can see the distaste behind the fake love. My little sister Aoi was also adopted; however she was in the same car as our parents during the accident. She is currently in a coma. She may be the only thing driving me today. No one in the world is left for me to trust.

"What would you like?" the waitress purred

Apparently that was supposed to be seductive. She was fluttering her eyes like she had something in her eyes. This was getting real old. I ordered quickly. She looked a bit down but strutted away. I was supposed to feel remorse. Hah! That is hilarious, I was just about to flip her off if she continue maybe even curse her out. I needed to restrain myself; I taint the family name. It does not really matter; I had always kept my name Hyuuga. It is always about image. There would never be a chance where I can be myself.

After finishing my food I decided to take a walk. Around downtown was my haven (just like Mikan :p). Not many people knew who I was there or just plainly ignored me knowingly. At least these people had brains. It was also best at night where there was just about nobody there. The moon shined brightly in the sky. There was not a single cloud up there. As soon as I decided to finally go home, I heard a desperate call for help. I went around the corner and saw the most disgusting thing ever. Four men were hunched over and were just about to rape a girl. Rage engulfed me. Without thinking, I quickly went over and punch the nearest guy. In the fit of my rage I did not realize they had passed out. I looked at her and almost gasped out loud. Her eyes were full of sadness but with a speck of innocence in it. You could tell with one look she had a rough life, but what shock me the most was that, she was looking at me like she was looking into my soul. I quickly left; leaving her to regain her memory of the recent event. When I noticed what I just did I was shocked. It was not like my usual attitude. Perhaps that girl sparked something back alive within me. I am so stupid. Maybe if fate allows it, I'd wish I could see her again. Maybe there is still hope, I thought to myself.

Mikan and Natsume's POV

I woke up early in the morning and remember the whole night yesterday. It was like a flint in my darkness. I quickly went to school hoping to meet him/her again.

**Sorry I deleted the first chapter by accident, but it is up again. I sort of made Mikan's and Natsume's character alike. Then I realize they are somewhat bipolar. I'm sorry, but I'm just not used to writing in more than one POV. I have go to deep into the story yet. I'll probably get a few chapters up within this week. Thanks for reading and please R&R**


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own any characters in this story. Thank you for reading it and please R&R.**

**Summary**

**Mikan's family has a secret. On the outside they are a family to envy, but when the curtains close it is true horror. Natsume has a problem with trusting people around him because of a dark past. They found love with each other, but would their inner demons tear them apart**.

Natsume's POV

"What the hell is wrong with me" I screamed at myself

I was not like this. What was with this flint in my darkness shit? Who in the world knows? As soon as I reached school, I came to realize that everyone is still the same. Nothing has change, and the chance that the girl is different is one in a million. Yea sure I saw no fake in her, but the cause could have been the event that had followed. I can't believe I started believing like that.

"What's wrong" Luna cooed

She started wrapping her arms around me and flutters her eyelash. **Disgusting**. I yanked my arm from her and started walking away. She had this stupid pout that was supposed to be "cute"; to me it looked like a starved dog begging for food. She ran up to me and continued to hug me. What the fuck is wrong with her. Can she not take a clue; does she actually think I'm playing hard to get. How stupid is she? I did it one last time, hoping she gets the clue. But NO, it seems like someone is out to get me. She has a pea for a brain. I decided to run, yes this girl made me run. I ran until I reached the back of the school. No one was here, but I found a student ID. It showed a girl's picture….

My eyes grew wide; it was the same girl from last night.

"Oh you got to be kidding me"

Yep defiantly, someone is out to get me. I look around to see if the girl is here; no one. I looked at it and it showed:

_Yukihara Sakura Mikan_

_March 2, 1994_

_Female_

3-B

She was in class 3-B, I was in class 3–A. After the shock, I went to class. Every class period was filled with thoughts of her. I looked back at what I found out. What I know so far is:

She goes to this school

She is in the same year

Her class is next door

This whole ordeal is freaking me out.

Talk about plain creepy. Why is it that she is so close, but I just notice her now? All this shit was giving me a headache. Oh why does the world hate me?

"Natsume-kun" Luna squealed

Ugh, can't she take a clue. I'm this close to begging someone for help; anyone. The bell soon rang; looked like my prayers worked.

Ding-Dong

Finally, talk about going to hell and back. I looked around quickly. Nope, she wasn't there; everyone was in a rush to go home. I could not see through the crowd. My eyes flashed around hoping to find her. Then someone bumped into me, and we both fell down. I opened my eyes outraged, and was about to scream at the person. I stopped. In front of me was the girl, _Yukihara Sakura Mikan. _It was her in the flesh. Her eyes widened a bit, and her blush covered her face.

"Sorry" she mumbled out

She quickly stands up and stumbled away.

"Wait, you're….."

I could not finish my sentence since she was already gone. I quickly stand up, and resume searching for her again.

"Natsume I'm here!" Luna squealed yet again

My eardrums were just about to burst. Did she really have to bother me at this time? I quickly left her behind. The parking lot was now empty except for a few loiterers. The girl was nowhere to be seen. I let out a frustrated groan, and curse Luna to oblivion. I went to my car, and drove home quickly. I knew I was going to see her tomorrow, but the frustration was still there. I stopped in front of my house. It started to rain as I lay my head down on the steering wheel. I was thoroughly exhausted. I listened to the rain as it hit the windshield. The phone disrupted the peacefulness in the car.

"WHERE ARE YOU!" My mother shrieked

"I'm in front of the house" I replied with acid

"You do not talk to your mother like that young man"

Rage enveloped me as I started to scream at her. **She was not my mother. How dare she say that?**

"Forget this non-sense; get inside now."

Her voice was shaking from anger and some fear. I quickly ran inside to prevent myself from getting wet. That failed. As I got inside, five different maids were there holding towel with lusty eyes. I quickly scowled at them and went up to my room. I changed my clothes; it was still raining. I lay down on my bed and thought of all the recent events. Darkness soon clouded my vision as I went into a deep sleep.

I was having a nightmare; I could tell easily. My deceased parents were there. I could still here it now; the car screeching, my mother crying, and the explosion. It was my entire fault; everything was my fault. It was still imprinted freshly in my mind. My parents were there; all beaten and bloodied. They were looking at me sadly.

"What is it?" I screamed

I repeat it over and over again. Nothing, they said nothing. They finally opened their mouth and said…..

"We…."

It was cut off by a scream, it was my scream. I woke up; it was all a dream I reminded myself. The clock's red light was glaring at me, 12:00 A.M. Two maids came in startled.

"What is going on young master?" They asked frantically

I glared them. What a disgusting sight. The lust was still there in their eyes. I scowled at them. Hoping they get the picture. I want them gone. They stiffened up and flinch a little bit.

"We'll b-be g-going no-now sir." They stuttered

As soon as they can, they ran out of the room. I sigh with frustration in my tone. Finally, there was peace and quiet. I went back to bed. I could not sleep at all, Insomnia, I growled at no one. I looked outside and saw there was no more rain. I quickly got out of bed and went to my window. With a great deal of care, I climbed down the side of my house. I ran outside loving the feeling of freedom. I went back there; the place where I met the girl. I don't know what I was expecting, but I saw nothing there. It could have been my imagination, but I saw a flash of brunette hair. For some reason I felt anxiety. It was like a premonition of some sort; I felt sick to the stomach. Nausea came next; I could feel the bile in my throat. What the fuck is wrong with me? I quickly went home, but the feeling of anxiety never left me. For the rest of the night, it was dreamless.

Mikan's POV

I could not believe how oblivious I was! Who in the world knew what was wrong with me? Just because he was handsome does not mean he was any different than all those rich snobs. I cannot believe I forgot who he was. He makes me so irritated. He was Natsume Hyuuga, the hotshot in this school. What in the world made me believe he was special?

OH I see Hotaru! She was my only friend who I could trust. She knew everything about my family. She was the only one who stuck by my side through everything. Hotaru was my only friend before my family went all chaotic. If she was not here, I might not wake up every day and live my life. She was the one who pushes me toward my goal. Here at school I could be my old self without a worry thanks to her.

"HOTARU!"

"Shut up idiot" she grumbled

I pouted at her. She may be mean, but I could tell she does not hate me. I was just about to ask her what she was going to do in the afternoon, but a loud shriek made me want to curl up and die. It was Luna Koizumi. She was the queen bee of the school, and if you want to be taught in slut101 she is the teacher. She had this ridiculously small outfit on. Hotaru always hated her too. Luna was always with Hyuuga, so Hotaru was unable to take pictures of Hyuuga alone.

"She is in the way of business" Hotaru growled

I could still remember the broken teddy bear as a result. I sigh as I watched her wrap her tentacles around Hyuuga. Talk about hormonal. We went around the school building since his fan girls were crowding the entrance. The back door was always open for me and Hotaru. It was good to have a blackmailer as a friend sometimes. The door opened abruptly, making me surprised. I fell flat on my butt, jeez how embarrassing. I quickly stood up as I passed the snickering. Hotaru turn around and glared at them. It stopped. She sure was frightening. I quickly went to class, but there was no need. There was a sub today. She only told us to stay in silent study hall the whole period. The rest of the day passed on quickly. The bell rang; the smile on my face dropped. End of the day means "goodbye school and hello home". Hotaru hit me in the back of my head. Ouch, I could feel it throbbing. I raised my eyebrow at her.

"Stop frowning idiot; you're coming with me this afternoon" She said glumly

I could tell she was kind of annoyed, but I saw some happiness in her. That one statement brightened up my day.

"Really!" I screamed

"Don't make me regret it idiot"

I instantly shut my mouth. I took my bag and ran out the classroom. The hallway was jammed pack. Everyone was pushing and shoving. Hotaru was nowhere near me now. One dude finally shoved me so hard I fall. I held out my arm to stop the fall. I expected pain, but nothing was there. I looked up to see a furious Hyuuga had cushioned my fall. In a split second it turned to shock. I felt a warm sensation cover my cheek.

"Sorry" I muttered

"Wait you're…"

As fast as I could, I scrambled myself up and quickly walked away, well more like stumbled away. I did not hear the next thing he said. I ran outside, and hurriedly went into Hotaru's car. I could tell my blush was still there and my heart was pounding so loud, I thought it was going to pop out. My hair was in disarray. I probably looked like a mad women.

"What is wrong with you" Hotaru said with widen eyes

"Nothing"

I must have said it too fast. Sheesh, even I would be suspicious. Hotaru scrutinized me, but she kept it at that.

"You know you are going to tell me one day" she said monotonously

I sighed; the heavy beating in my heart was still there.

"I know but just not know ok?"

It started to rain outside. The rest of the car ride was silent. The tension in here was going to suffocate me. At last the car stopped. I looked up to see where we are. It was the local festival! She knew I wanted to go there this year. With that, the tension disappeared immediately. Hotaru smiled slightly.

"I can wait"

I stared at her in shock. She had actually smiled. Then all of a sudden I feel extremely ill. I started seeing colors in my vision, next thing I see is the grey sky, and I'm out.

I'm wet? My eyes flew open, and it was freezing cold. I look straight into amethyst eyes. A guy was next to her holding a bucket.

"Are you awake now" Hotaru said with annoyance and a speck of concern?

I look around me. Where am I? Like a physic Hotaru said

"You are in the clinic idiot, and before you ask why, you fainted"

I looked at her surprised. I tried to recollect my last memories. The last thing I remember is we arrive at the fair and Hotaru smiles. Wait Hotaru smiled! Wait why did I collapse then?

"Why did I faint like that?"

"I believe that you collapse from exhaustion" The mystery man said

I had been studying more, since mid-term exams were near. Before I could ask, Hotaru butt in

"He works here idiot"

"Name's Ruka" he said

I thought it out. Then I sneezed.

"Why did you dump water on me?"

"Tch you ask too many questions. I did not want to wait in this tent while I could be doing stuff more productive idiot."

I stare at her astonished. I do not know why I even call her a friend sometime. I roll my eyes as I got up to change my clothes. We spent the rest of the day looking at attractions and playing in some. I was so glad I had Hotaru with me. It was now 11:46. I started to think of what might happen at home. I close my eyes and count to ten. That had always helped. Hotaru looked at me concerned.

"I going to walk home Hotaru"

"You are not idiot, do you know what time it is"

Tears sprung to my eyes. I wanted to wait until everyone was asleep first.

"Please" I begged

Hotaru was hesitant about it, but she eventually agreed. She had a look of concern before entering her car and driving off. I started walking then I remember Hyuuga Natsume. This was the place where I met him. I walked down the alley. I don't know what made me do this stupid thing. I was about to go back when Hyuuga came along the corner. Without much thought I hid around the corner. I stared at him wide eye. His crimson eyes were filled with curiosity. The next thing I know is a drunken guy dragged me down. He threw me on the ground. I was about to scream, but he was already passed out. Who knew I would be saved by alcohol twice? I stared at him before I quickly ran back home. I opened the door hoping no one was awake. No such luck. **He** was still awake. I stared at him.

"Where the hells were you, whore!" He spat at me

I flinched as I felt his saliva touch my skin. Gross.

"I went to the festival with Hotaru"

He looked like I just punched him. He quickly stands up and slapped me.

"I EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME WHEN SCHOOL ENDS!"

I curled up on the floor. He continues to kick me after. I lay on the floor, trying to cushion each kick. Then I blacked out…

Natsume's POV

The next day, the girl was nowhere to be seen. I asked the teacher.

"Miss Yukihara is sick today" they replied

I could not help but feel like something's wrong.

**Thank you for reading this. I'll try to get the next chapter up faster. I hope you continue to read itand please R&R **


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice, nor do I own the characters. **_

_**I am sorry I did not upload sooner. There was much stuff I had to worry about last weekend. I can finally take a breath. I had to worry about science fair and now I have to get ready for high school. SIGH. I'll try to upload as soon as I can. Thank you for reading this and please R&R. **_

_Mikan's POV_

I woke up to a blinding light. I was in my room, and it was all trashed up. Clothes was ripped and thrown all over the place. All my stuff was thrown and trashed on the floor. I shot out of bed immediately. I regretted it instantly. Pain exploded on my stomach. I clutched my stomach as I dropped to my knees. I slowly took some breaths and got up. I walked around and try to remember what happened. My head kept throbbing, and I felt sore and pain all over. I twisted the knob to find it locked. I scrunched my eyebrow in irritation. I looked at my clock to see it was already evening. I kept forcing myself to remember but it was to no avail. I knew it was not good; considering that I was hurt. I decided to give up and try to get out. I open the window and cold air rushed in. I shivered as goose bump appear on my arm. The window was too small, and even if I could fit I am unable to climb down. I looked around to see if there is any exit. I saw a small air vent on the side of the wall. I scrunched my nose to see all the dust smothering it. I sighed and quickly walked over there. As soon as I took off the cover, dust flew all over the place. My face scrunches up in reaction. There was no other choice beside this. I crawled in there and almost turned around. I closed the vent, and continue on. I sneezed every few minutes I was there. I then heard a car near the driveway. I stiffened and quiet down. I held my breath and tried not to sneeze. I crawled until I saw an opening in the vent. I look down and saw him home. I suddenly get an image of him hitting me. I cringed at the thought. He looked extremely frustrated and irritated. I tried to be as quiet as I can be, but fate was not on my side today. I sneezed and immediately crawled out of view. I do not know if he saw that.

"Mikan?" He growled out

"Is that you? "

I closed my eyes and gave a quick prayer. All of a sudden, the vents started to shake. I cursed under my breath. The vent ruptured under my weight. I frantically looked around for him. I saw him in the ground just laying there. My anxiety grew ten times as worst. I sand up to be brought down again. I had twisted my ankle. I crawled over to him. He was not dead. Suddenly images flashed through my mind. It was the memory of last night. Terror erupted within me as I thought of what he'll do to me now. Tears threaten to fall down. As fast as I could, I stood up and went outside. I ran away from the house, or try to hobble as fast as I can. I walked and walked with no clear destination. I reached that part of town again. It seems like many things are happening here these days. Then all of a sudden, I saw him. He was driving around. I could tell because of his car. I hurriedly went down the alley. I saw some people look at me oddly. I hobbled as fast as I can to somewhere else. Anxiety was growing more and more. I felt paranoia almost 24/7. I kept walking, then I full blown run. I ignore the throbbing pain on my foot. I bump into someone.

"I'm sorry, please don't hurt me." I begged

I looked up to see a confused face. I looked at him in shock. It was Natsume Hyuuga. Tears erupted from my eyes. I jumped up and wrapped my arms around him.

"Please help me!"

_**Sorry it is so short, but I will to upload as much as I can. I will probably write more during winter break. Thank you for reading and please R&R**_

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